27th Sunday in Ordinary Time (B)

Gn 2:18-24; Heb 2:9-11; Mk 10:2-16

There is a delightful story about a farmer who had been married for twenty years. His wife constantly complained that he never told her that he loved her. One day at dinner she complained again. Having enough of this, the husband stood up and said, “My dear, when I married you twenty years ago, I told you that I loved you. If anything changes, don’t worry because I will let you know!”

(The story is told by T. Hudson)

The readings invite us to address the serious problem of divorce. Why does the Catholic Church consider divorce morally unacceptable? Does the Catholic Church ask married couples to live together for all times and in all circumstances? How are we going to respond to the pastoral needs of persons with extremely difficult marriages? These are complex questions that cannot be answered fully in a homily. Nevertheless, I would like to contribute some points for catechetical purposes and for pastoral guidance. I will try to do this with due respect to the sentiments of our friends and relatives who are divorced and perhaps remarried.

Catholic teaching says that marriage is a sacrament, not just an ordinary contract, made by a man and a woman who love each other. It was Christ who instituted the sacrament of marriage, and couples who enter into it are given the grace to live it and to manifest the love of God for humanity or the love of Christ for his Church. In today’s gospel, Jesus articulates the original plan of God for marriage: “From the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mk 10:6-9). Clearly, for Jesus, marriage is designed by the Creator to be permanent. If married couples are allowed to divorce, marriage ceases to be a sacrament of God’s faithful love.

Moreover, Catholics are convinced that children, who are the natural fruits of marriage, need a permanent and secure family environment to live fully. Experience would tell us that most children of divorced couples are problematic in their psychosocial and psychosexual development, in their studies, in their relationships and even in their work. The pain and anxiety that they experienced when their parents quarreled and broke up caused them a lot of trauma and insecurity. If our children's future are compromised, what would happen to our society?

By teaching the indissoluble nature of marriage, the Church does not mean to say that a wife of an irresponsible, drug-crazed, or sexually pervert husband, must stay with him forever. Common sense would tell us that if a wife finds her husband molesting their children, she must leave him at once and ask for assistance. In like manner, the husband also may separate house from his wife if she continues to nag and batter him for no valid reason. The separation, however, must be considered temporary until the serious problem is addressed properly. Moreover, the separation does not give the husband or the wife the right to remarry while his or her original partner lives.

In the Church, we have what we call a Tribunal Court, composed ordinarily of canon lawyers, who will investigate carefully the validity of sacramental marriages. Separated couples of seemingly irreparable unions may try to approach a Tribunal Court in their arch/diocese and present their case. Church authorities might find strong grounds to declare their marriage null and void, in which case, they can be given the right to remarry. Please understand that a “Declaration of Nullity of Marriage” is not equal to divorce. When a Church Tribunal declares a marriage null and void, what it says is that from the very beginning there never was in fact a marriage because of some impediments or defects in the matter and form of the marriage. A most common canonical ground for nullity is the defective consent of either one of the spouses.

A preacher notes the fact that people nowadays have the common mentality of “use and discard.” If something – a product or an instrument – is found defective or damage, we immediately think of replacing it. Very few now would consider repairing or restoring a thing to its original goodness and beauty. If applied to marriage, the “use and discard” mentality is deadly. In order to save this generation, we need to rediscover the art of repairing clothes, appliances, cars, and relationships. To save marriages, couples must practice daily repairs of broken hearts and dreams. Learn to forgive one another. Listen and understand each other. Be humble and be open. Share one another’s problems. If married couples can do this, there is a possibility for marriage Tribunals in the Church to close office.